Friday, 28 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Panel Ponderings

Pashee on the sofa and Chelsee (magical mover) says that when the pressure's on you just have to get on with it - 12 hours training last week, even less this. But their Tango, to Love Potion NO.9, looks great.

Dancer in disguise - I'm going for Aliona.

Into the studio with Aleames and Alex (Valley Vamp) says the atmosphere is scary and creepy - but that's hanging around with James for you. He's generally annoying her to bring out the aggression in their Paso Doble - they've renamed the appels Craig. Looked good too, before they started mucking about.

Artolly, back on the sofa and Holly (Scream queen) is asked if Artem can improve "no, he's perfect in every way!" Their American Smooth will be to the Black Swan, it's dramatic ballet and looks lovely in training.

What are the celebs most scared of? The live show lead up - nerves - the voice over man - unpredictable - letting their pro down - Craig - scoring a 1 - waiting for the result - the week they're out.

Friday Panel - Alesha, Daniel O'Donnell and John Partridge. Russia - specialist says he's fine to dance tomorrow and a little procedure after will ensure he's good to go next week too, they have a samba to Kylie's Better The Devil You Know - natural bounce action. Robinita tango to Devil Woman, technically strong but still lacking a little fluidity; Antonollio rumba to Spooky, definitely no fluidity; Robbiola Paso Doble to Bad, seem to be walking through it still - I hope! Audalie jive to Little Shop of Horrors - not sure this will be his dance; Jastina quickstep to Bewitched is looking completely fab, fleet of foot.

Dancer in disguise: Brendan!!! Ha ha, oops. Sorry, Brenda.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Stair ways to hell.

Antonollio on the sofa and Nancy (Cape-a-bull) says it's difficult to decide emotions, glad she stayed, sad Rory went and they can't change the show! Is the Upside Down move now their trademark? "'Ave it!" says Anton (Italian's stallion), and "I know where the floor is, I can feel it under my feet!" in response to Zoe's "She's only inches from the floor!" They're not revealing if the rumba is frightening or fabulous. Nancy's been asking around about what a rumba is ... "a firm handshake" says Anton. "Making love on the dance floor," says Nancy, cuddling up and grabbing hold of him: "Are you comfortable, Anton?" "I've got my underpants on back to front actually." He's learning Italian and says Nancy's doing a marvellous job for a girl from Croydon ...

Karen's Choreography Corner: Jastina was on his toes, heel leads would've made it stronger; Aleames too much on the floor and as for being sexy, weee-llll: Pay attention Women! We have angles - elbows, wrists, hips, bust, knees - all she has to do is use them! Pashee with loaded content: kicks and flicks; rondes; barrel rolls, perfect body contact; Brendulu and she's having a carnival party that included us all - didn't need the stairs -what is it with them and the stairs - Zoe and Karen are cordoning them off next week. Audalie is building the content, contra check, slip pivots, he mastered them very well; Harriona's rise and fall alone was incredible, natural swing and sway, keep showing him off though, don't just stand there on the stairs! Russia shoulder shrugs should be with the body not the arms but natural when learning; Artolly on tiptoeing round the fleckerl, should be two steps forward and one behind. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Robbiola lovely light flicks and kicks.

Widdy's Question Time: What's your karaoke tune? Pasha - none, too embarrassing; Brendan - Elton; Vincent: That's Amore. Pasha then settles on Bad!

Robinita on the sofa and Anita (Smooth Operator) thought there was a horrible twist and that she would be sent home! They've Tango to Devil Woman, she's falling in love with it and Robin (he just wants to make her sweat) says there'll be no faffing about at the start, just straight into it!

Fabulous Fashion To Finish, with Julian McDonald and Oona on the sofa. Lulu's was Julian's fave, so modern, so unexpected, flashdance, off the shoulder, batwing, swags and tails, lots of godets to give it a kick, used it like a can can dress; Holly a tale of two dresses, top half couture, art deco, geomeric, bottom half classical, sway and over the rainbow - with 9000 crystals that took 8 hours! Chelsee inspired by Britney's Toxic - which was styled by Julian, his eyes almost fell out, amazing kingfisher blue and blue is the hottest colour for next summer *Cheers, I'll be trendy for once* young, sexy, modern, the high street will be copying. The hat is the new fascinator!

Monday, 24 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Rorin Run Out

Rorin on the sad sofa and Rory (Lasting impression) says they had more to do and he gave it all he had, and, self deprecatingly as usual, that his idea of a good dance is to finish it quicker than do it better. Erin (Cha cha for now), in response to pro dance/judge spats, says the pros know what their celebs are capable of, she wouldn't change anything about the cha cha if she had the chance. Emotional vids and everyone is snivelling now ...

Craig (Paddle Power) on the sofa for the dance debrief: Harriona - as a choreographer and director he encourages storytelling, but it didn't get more than an 8 because being out of hold revealed a lot of flaws, specially with the arms. Apparently, they are allowed 10 seconds out of hold - it seems a lot longer than that; Aleames - the sexless remark wasn't personal, she is sexy - but the dancing could be sexier, needed hip action, all his analogies are aimed at the dancing; Antonollio - Nancy goes for it, takes the ideas, incorrigible and brave, needs technical work obviously - and says Anton could do more to cover up her mistakes; Pashee - it didn't have the polish it needed for a 10 but dynamic, brilliant, a million steps; Jastina - bit kangarooish, skipping, galloping, loses strength, paso is demanding shape wise. He's not a dancer, he's a great singer and actor but was never a dancer, he has weaknesses.

Robbiola on the sofa and Robbie (jive and kicking) says the nose is fine, 'cept he can't breathe properly ... Zoe presents him with a bill for the camera! Ola (shut and jive) says he totally sold the dance with his personality. Production have fun with a spoof hair advert: Strictly Savage Shampoo, because he's, yeah, that. They've a trick-filled masculine paso for Halloween!

Dr. Pam (no couch slouch) says the females are feeling the pressure! On Aleames, James is an authoritarian - my way or highway - but there's teasing, they're having fun; on Antonollio, she defies analysis, Anton's brilliant, you can be tough but with the right tone, smile and tease, he's able to be hard on her; on Brendulu, he recognises that she learns differently to others, she's responding to beats instead of numbers; on Pashee, he can be stern and parental but gets the response he needs with a playful slap on the bum.

That's it? 30 minutes up already, I swear it gets shorter the more the series goes on ...

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing Result Show, Week Four

1-2-3-4 and we're off with a fab pro dance. Sharpest tongs? The judges have tongs? Have we just merged with Masterchef?

The Moment of Truth #1: Safe - Pashee; Audalie; Robinita; Harriona; Brendulu!
Bottom Two - Rorin! Aw, nooooo. Len shocked - not his best but not his worst.

Caro Emerald sings That Man, while Katya and Pasha rock it with jive, quickstep and charleston. They're blurring.

Len's Lens - during Brendulu's samba, Len nabs a trumpet and has a go ... Robinita, in and out of the huge lift so beautifully and heel turns! Robbie gyrating - if he doesn't get a hair advert after this show ... Rorin's hips moved so well ... Antonollio sound fx: ghastly, says Craig. The Grant- the joy, the dream into the nightmare, slightly demented.

Halloween Special next week - the trailer is brilliant!

The Moment of Truth #2: Safe - Russia; Artolly; Robbiola; Jastina - Aleames now completely convinced it's them in the bottom two - but no, it's Antonollio! Will they escape again?

Craig is sado masochistically enjoying Nancy!

Vincent and Flavia demonstrate the Argentine Tango and it's absolutely, completely brilliant, so intricate, so rapid - how do they do that? *bookmarks*

It's Anton v Erin, so neither will be truly happy at staying in. Rory will miss it like a limb; Nancy disappointed as she felt she'd done so much better. Final Moment of Truth: It's Rorin! He's apologising to Erin and I don't think I've seen her look more gutted, great partnership. But I'm at the stage I'm going to feel like this every week from here on in, it's all so close.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing Week 4: Back to ballroom basics!

Tonight, Matthew, I've come as a roll of carpet ... I'm kidding, Tess looks lovely. Bit thin but still lovely. Poor women on telly can't win, can they?

Jastina out first for a change - Paso Doble to I Want It All and Kristina slays the ghost of Pasos past! Power, passion, fabulous choreography, the skirt work was brilliant. Who's looking at technique? Len - if the buttocks are firm, posture is firm, just lacked the technique, looked great standing still, twist turns plonky; Alesha - confident, little unsure in places, not your strongest, get equal balance between technique and passion; Bruno - tried to make a big meal out of it and got indigestion, feet off timing; Craig - shoulders down, follow through all the lines you created, real shame because intent was there. Score: 6/7/7/7 = 27 They've decided to get firmer!

Aleames rumba to Run, on the floor to begin which I loved, I thought she did really well with the being sexy, still a little hesitant but lovely to watch. Alesha - beginning beautiful, nice arms, nice control, a little safe, take risks; Bruno - sinfully sexy but demure and hesitant, never used hips to full extent; Craig - sexless, cold and stiff, no hip action *James - the public loved it*; Len - the public judge the effect of the dance, our criteria is different, performance good, too much on the floor, lacked hip action but had romance, needed more content but overall a good job. Score: 4/7/7/7 = 25 there's a riot going on in Tess' tower at that 4!

Rorin cha cha to Dance to the Music out of time a little but caught up and we all had a jolly good time, he went all out for it, well done Rory! Bruno - like a cocky rooster, take the steps on the ball of the foot; Craig - gauche, gawky, uncomfortable, heavy placement and flat footed; Len - there's a lot going on and not all of it's good. Liked the New York section, crisp, the flaunting ok; Alesha - always committed, I enjoyed it, well done. Score: 4/7/6/7 = 24 Tess: "You're getting fitter every week" Rory: "Thank you, what are you doing after the show?"

Audalie foxtrot and I wasn't convinced about the song, but they did a very creditable job with it - and we're seeing how good Natalie is now, in how much Audley has improved, not so much with the swing and sway but a smooth, lovely, warm performance. Craig - improvement in frame, needs swing and sway, I really truly liked it; Len - foxtrot is the hardest to do - I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation; Alesha - love that you rose to the occasion, good job, be bold; Bruno - at times almost fairy like. Score: 6/7/6/6 = 25

Antonollio Paso Doble, ploddy, a shame as Anton put a good routine together, great music, fabulous assisted jump, funny to see her counting, full of drama, loved the dress. Anton's going to start with her upside down next week! Len - better on her head, more content, game girl, enjoyed it, entertaining; Alesha - Intriguing, bit rag doll but I loved it; Bruno - fabulous with your legs in the air, trying to count and still went off time, great effort! Craig - like a paso in Oklahoma, skipping and hoe-downing, full of lifts *they're all a bit of a chuck, luv - Anton* secretly there is talent beneath the surface. Score: 3/5/5/5 = 18

Brendulu samba to Sir Duke - trumpets - now this is a party dance, go Lulu! Didn't like the run up the stairs though, because she was bouncy, groovy and fun and I'd have liked more of that. Judges will mark down and now is not the week to be low on the leader board. Alesha - samba suits you, full of energy; Bruno - bubbly and effervescent, mistakes though! Craig - little bit more content, this dance did suit you, bounce action, better; Len - gusto and enthusiasm, carnival spirit, bit repetitious. Score: 5/6/7/7 = 25

Artolly VW to Cry Me Out. Brave, three poles in the middle of the floor to bump into. Posture not a strong still as it should be, lovely routine but didn't tear me up like I was hoping. Bruno - very fluid, romantic, focus and give it more; Craig - bumpy in place, top line more extreme, whole thing gorgeous; Len - pretty, light and fluffy, got fed up with the poles in the end, once in hold, step forward on your heels; Alesha - elegant, beautiful, composed. Score: 7/7/8/8 = 30

Pashee's quickstep to Sing Sing Sing is stunning, best dance of the night - of the series - so far, a class apart to everything else, timing & musicality fantastic, characterisation, smashing routine performed brilliantly. Craig - two words: First Class! Len - Pasha, you checked in; Chelsee, you won't be checking out tomorrow; Alesha: chemistry, delivered, only criticism - it ended too soon; Bruno - pocket rocket, great. Score: 9/9/9/9 = 36 joint top of the series.

Harriona waltz to Come Away With Me and is an utterly gorgeous routine ... until they stop dancing in the middle of it and fanny around on the stairs *yawn* then try to pick it up again. Len - first half fantastic, hold posture, beautiful footwork, perfect, was a ten and then ... let's mess it all up and walk up the stairs; Alesha - you make ballroom dancing look cool; Bruno - smooth operator, elegant, poised, musical phrasing just superb, beautiful; Craig - I really loved the whispering and the whole storytelling. Score: 8/8/10/9 = 35 I agree with Len - talk about spoil it - surely they could have done the whisper/kiss bit on the floor and merged it in? But Aliona's dress was perfect.

Robinita American Smooth to I've Got You Under My Skin and it's sophisticated, fab lifts, captured the feel but not quite as smooth as I'd have liked. Alesha - style fits you so well, captured the spirit, straighten legs, daring lifts; Bruno - Anita or Rita (Hayworth) Hollywood, 40s feel, I liked it; Craig - lost body contact but sophisticated, classy, consummate pro; Len - two heel turns, beautiful, ease, elegance and sophistication. Score: 8/8/8/8 = 32 - she's going, she's going, the bottom lip's going ...

Robbiola jive to Love Man and there's pelvic thrusts, and singing and also great footwork, strong kicks and flicks, bit loose, thoroughly enjoyable, full of energy! Bruno - because you're worth it! Insane, begging for it; great energy, technically not perfect but God, I had a good time; Craig - sorry to spoil but stompy, ploddy but adored the characterisation and you went for it; Len - We're the Love Men - you loved it, the people loved it, I loved it; Alesha - loved the hair fluffing and thrusting, great to see you having such a good time. Score: 5/8/7/7 = 27

Russia Tango to Sweet Dreams and it's full of cleverly choreographed content by Flavia, not too fast, giving him breathers but seamless transitions into each section, tried to master technique, entertaining, I loved it! Craig - giving machismo a go, shoulder shrugs not good, head didn't belong to you sometimes but entertaining; Len - like a nodding dog, too whimsical and airy fairy, charm about you, endearing; Alesha - appreciated your interpretation, too nice to do a menacing tango, strictly legend anyway; Bruno - I got it! From sleeping beauty to night terrors, the twist and turns, all went on in your mind, the horror, the theatre, insane but brilliant! Score: 5/6/6/7 = 24 Loving Flav's boots in the pre-dance vid. He's doing samba next week, losing the macho - mass hysteria breaks out - did Robbie say something?

To the Leader Board!
Pashee: 36 = 12
Harriona: 35 = 11
Robinita: 32 = 10
Artolly: 30 = 9
Jastina: 27 = 8
Robbiola: 27 = 8
Aleames: 25 = 7
Audalie: 25 = 7
Brendulu: 25 = 7
Rorin: 24 = 6
Russia: 24 = 6
Antonollio 18 = 5

Too close to call - I'd expect Pashee, Jastina, Robbiola and Russia to be safe, but that's as far as I'm sticking my neck out! I voted for the first time - Pashee, no brainer, and Brendulu for using one of my fave songs, doing it justice and not wanting to see them go home on that dance.

And, I have to say, the band and singers were awesomeness personified tonight! And the judges seem to have realised they've been far too generous in previous weeks and have decided to tighten things up a bit! It's fingernail nibbling time ...

Friday, 21 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two: That Friday Feeling

Russia on the sofa and Russell (He's good, I grant you) says he's not a contender, he's 60 and could drop down dead tomorrow! He's being followed around supermarkets and a fan, Margaret followed him into training, parked her shopping bag and demanded a dance! He's getting into a character; he's called Arrogrant, a Scorpio with a Vincent eyebrow and a pout! Flavia (what will she russell up next) confirmed they will reverse the hold - but not this week! Dancing to Sweet Dreams (Vincent and Louisa's?).

Pashee and Chelsee (too cool for school) reveals she was outside "being naughty with Harry" when she banged her head! Must get the Mail tomorrow, just for the fun of it. Pasha (give us a pash) says it's good to challenge her to stop her getting bored - which judging by the school report Zoe reads out is a real possibility! Dancing to Sing Sing Sing - fab, was Ian and Denise's ... #runningoutofsongs

Points of You - anyone else spot Robbie practising his moves behind Antonollio on Saturday night?

Panel Ponderers - Chris de Burgh (cheese burgher) hasn't seen any of this series so far; Ann Widdecombe (just a flying visit) says at least Nancy can dance ... better than her; Tom Ellis (Hart-throb - husband of Tamsin Outhwaite) is a total Strictly nut! He says Nancy has the passion for the paso, could be her best yet. Brendulu dancing to Sir Duke - incidentally, the first proper single I bought, ie. with cash, not a token, not from the bargain bin three years later, but actually when it came out! Fabulous song, looking very groovy, she always brings the party out. Aleames dancing to Leona Lewis' Run - not so sure about that. And could yet struggle with fluidity, according to Tom. Harriona, on the other hand, dancing their waltz to Norah Jones' Come Away With Me, which Chris calls standard restaurant fayre *shock horror* Audalie foxtrot to Dusty Springfield 'I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself', not sure about that either. Can't fault his enthusiasm. Artolly dancing their VW to my VW song, Pixie Lott's Cry Me Out - if we're not in tears they're doing it wrong. Who do the panel think will win? Ann - Anton (loyalty) Chris - Jason (obvious) Tom - an Antipodean, that's all he's saying!

The celebs on SCD - sense of achievement; passion; love/hate; addictive; such a kick; believe in yourself; go for it; everything I thought it would be; fallen in love with it.

Zoe in the studio with Rorin on the steps; Erin will be fine by tomorrow, she'll have it nailed! Buzz words last week were Happy Feet! Death drop at the end of the cha cha, right at the end but her head's made of rubber, it's fine, she'll bounce back up. Dance to the Music, yeah baby!

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Savage Styling!

Breaking news ... not, it's been all over the papers - Len will be away for the weekend 5th/6th November and taking his place *fanfare* Dancing With The Stars reigning champ, Jennifer Grey, she of NobodyPutsBabyInTheCorner fame, iconic dance movie Dirty Dancing.

Training snapshot #1: Rorin cha cha - getting jiggy with it; Jastina Paso Doble exciting; Russia arrogant - Barbara Cartland Does Rambo; Audalie foxtrot not looking too bad; Harriona waltz, elegant creative choreography.

Robbiola on the sofa, a bit worried about the jive on his own but I've seen worse - Happy Birthday for Tuesday, Robbie (Fake Tan-go). Ola (O' de Savage) was as nervous dancing at the football match as Robbie on the dance floor - it was she who went wrong! The fans had threatened to sing naughty songs, Robbie refrained. Goughie is giving him tips - so maybe we'll see the caterpillar make an appearance again on Saturday! Dancing to Otis Redding! Loving that! They are going to restyle the hair - orange mohican? Travolta mullet? Elton John? Or cut it all off? "No, I've got a big nose, it'd look enormous!" Zoe: "You know what the say!" Cheeky!

Costume corner with Vicky in wardrobe: Catsuit alert - for Alex! Chelsee in Britney air hostess number; Russell, excitable, takes up the whole rhinestone budget; the secret frock, who's wearing that? A clue - designed for lifts: Anita then!

Jastina on the sofa and they were slightly concerned that Len might not have liked the Priscilla break. Jason (Don-o-good job) suffers asthma, Kristina (Russian Roula-la) could hear him wheezing behind her feathers ..."a lot of women would pay for that" - Zoe - she's on it tonight, naughty lady. They're prepared for being knocked off the top spot but they still want it all - dancing to Queen!

Training snapshot #2: Aleames rumba technique suspect but she'll get it; Artolly VW - struggling with posture and balance; Brendulu samba - if she can stay upright, fab, she's loving it, look likes it suits her; Antonollio Paso Doble bit stiff, nice jump; Pashee quickstep is quick, still struggling to keep up;

Robinita AS expect great lifts! They're on the sofa - Anita (a neater dancer) disappointed her scores went down, Robin (king of quiffs) surprised, he thought the jive better than the salsa. The wig is back. Horrible but yes, Nick Cotton! Dancing to I've Got You Under My Skin - perfect! He's a machine, she's light as a feather, he'll just throw her up and juggle her a bit!

Roll end credits - time for the Savage stylee to return - it's a Jedward Beehive!

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Wednesday Warm Up

Eleven different styles this week, eleven! The big question, is, will we be able to tell which ones are which? #liftgate #discobreaks etc ...

Brendulu on the sofa and Lulu (hauled over the cole) has been swept off her feet in more ways than one, while Brendan (Loves lift music) drops in about all the other lifts ... Brendan, backed up by video evidence, says the samba is looking really good, shows rhythm, good hip action and fluidity. Focusing on sambaland when she's not in Lululand.

Dancers in Disguise - it's a girl this time, I think, and I'm going for Erin.

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #1: Robinita - American Smooth, we'd like to see her smoother, soften the knees for fluidity, the grabbing hand needs refining; Antonollio paso doble, staccato suits her, good heel leads, lots of wobbling, needs a stronger core; Artolly's VW has interesting armography at the beginning of the routine, we don't see much else; Aleames rumba begins like Ravel's Bolero *interesting* very controlled, James' trademark, release the body for more fluidity; Pashee quickstep, bit concerned re the hold, she's hanging on, Charleston very good, elbow dropping, clawed hand.

Audalie on the sofa and Audley (Box-er office hit) is glad he didn't fall over, almost, but nicely recovered. Nat (Quick quick Lowe) has never yelped or screamed so much in an elimination round. Rise and fall in the foxtrot is killing his feet but getting him feet so he considers re-entering the ring again next year. And he tells David Haye he must do SCD! Oh. Yes. Please.

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #2: Jastina paso doble has fantastic choreography from Kristina but Jason needs more arm shaping and hips underneath; Rorin cha cha and Latin not his thing but Erin can turn him into a dancer, needs to choreograph his arms; Robbiola jive a big surprise, doing really well, lots of steps, he's really enjoying himself; Russia tango in a tank top, get shoulders down and elbows up, he's dancing the lady part for a few seconds *thumbs nose at Craig* looking great though!

Harriona on the sofa and Harry (Hey Judd) really enjoyed the jive, he wasn't terrified. Aliona (Harry Spotter) says they dance equally together, really helps. They're aiming for the summer holiday time with Sandy version of Danny Zuko for their waltz.

Dancer in disguise is ... Flavia! A least I got the sex right!

Dancing on Ice Contestants?

Yep, it seems the next intake of Dancing on Ice contenders have been spotted practising with Chris Dean!

They are (I still wouldn't take it as 100% though): Actress Jennifer Ellison (Brookside, Chicago); actor Andy Whyment (Kirk Sutherland in Coronation Street); actress Leila Morse (Big Mo in Eastenders); actor Matthew Wolfenden (David Metcalfe in Emmerdale); actress Jorgie Porter (Theresa McQueen in Hollyoaks) - so far, soooooo soapie we might choke on the bubbles - Sugarbabes' Heid Range; fashionista Sadie Frost; ex-Tottenham goalie, Ian Walker; alpine ski racer, Chemmy Alcott - any advantage do we think or did she stick to snow? Slimming and exercise queen, Rosemary Conley; Blue Peter's Andy Akinwolere, always up for a challenge!

Only eleven there though, so some are still in hiding or we're still at audition stage!

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Turn around, bright hair and teeth!

Karen casts her eye over the weekend, but first ...

Antonollio on the sofa but "why are you so far away" says Nancy (Rome wasn't built in a day), pulling Anton closer. Anton (Beke from the brink) berates the judges for not crediting the celebs solo work and says they're dancing for the people, not the judges. He's rebelling, he might even take his tie off! "As much as I love Claudia I don't want to see her again" says Nancy. Their paso doble will have lifts and a troupe of matadors and horses!

Choreography Corner: Artolly terrific routine but could have been a pop show - ballroom dancing means they should dance together; Robinita brave and brilliant, great content, jiving and bouncing; Rorin the music so special, tells the celeb what steps to do, got into character, very clever; Brendulu fabulous lift, height, leg position, toes, landing but no no no with lifts - trickery - will come back and bite them on the bum later; Audalie repetition of steps, clever, but by the 4th time he's tired; Robbiola turns, spinning, you might have motion sickness but you're in it for the long run. Turn is the elegance of dance! Russia beautiful content, he's living the dream, Flav got it perfect, razzle dazzle bit, back into hold, that song, that Broadway, fantastic; Jastina in competition of the campest, then back into intensity, loved it; Pashee can handle fast choreography but needs to master technique; Harriona needed a great jive but as show goes on judges will demand more content.

Aleames on the sofa and Alex (The cat's whiskers) says Saturdays are terrifying but they have a great time during the week and James (Purr-fect partner) is very pleased, she's improving every week more quickly than he expected. Rumba next - how are they finding it? Hmmmm.

Top of the Frocks: Bruce Oldfield and Oona O'Hagan say you can put Chelsee in anything - this week, it was 1500 bugle beads in a costume that transcended the decades, those beads perfect for cha cha as they spin and twist; Anita - 2 bows and pink, too Minnie Mouse although right for the song. Wired frothy hemline, 4 layers of petticoats, 6 metres of fabric! Lulu in black and white, representing the Phantom, lots of fabric but it worked, crepe base, georgette scarves for a soft romantic silhouette - they were still sewing just before she took to the floor. Holly, a proper woman, underwear as outerwear, very Gaulthier, nude net, can see the tango legwork. Credits rolling, till the morrow.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Dosvi-Danya

Danya on the sofa and it appears Dan (lobbed out) and Katya (Kat-ya later) concentrated far too much on trying to dance instead of trying to capture the showbiz spirit. I'm being sarcastic - I can see me losing my patience if everyone else left continues to not concentrate on dancing ... they thought they'd go, Antonollio are very entertaining. Dan reckons they stripped him naked and threw him out 10 minutes after the results. "Even Fiona Phillips lasted 4 weeks" quips Zoe.

Craig (Revels in critique) on the sofa - of Brendulu he says he loves a lift as much as anyone but rules is rules and he's going to keep penalising; Chelsee is bendy legged and too disco and he hopes her top half doesn't motor along without her feet in the quickstep; Anita needs to keep her legs together and finish her lines, he's borrowing Robin's wig next week; Robbiola have confidence, most important. And aggression, he's well studied with the right attitude; thrilled we saw Harry's personality, not just his wonderful sculpted chest and polished pecs; Antonollio was ragdoll city, nightmare but brave. Paso Doble next! He's loving Kristina and what she's doing with Jason.

Artolly on the sofa and Holly (smoking hot) enjoyed the acting, she feels more confident as someone else and she might choreograph killing Artem (He had it coming) into the routine every week. VW next week.

Backstage mission: Anton, on witnessing the celebs joining the pro dance "I saw a pile up on the M25 just like that ..."

Dr. Pamela Stephenson (Dance detective) on the bar stool, appraising the relationships: Jastina - very alike, Aussie theatre training similar to Russian. He's intense, curious, immune to her flirtatiousness; Harriona like twins, beautifully matched, she's so seductive, getting the best out of him, he's loving being dominated by the sexy Russian; Audalie some concerns - he's never met anyone like Nat, equally physically competitive, she expects the best; Robbiola are the Dazzle Twins! Wonderful athlete, animal on the pitch, vulnerable off it, needs Ola to be good mummy - but she can be bad mummy also! Russia a very good match, focused, gives her control but a big personality can be hard for an introvert like Flavia; Rorin a very good pairing, lots of respect, he doesn't mind being bossed, she brings him out of his frustration. That's it, girls next week!

In other news - Lulu won the Sacla' Women of the Year Lifetime Achievement Award!

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing Result Show, Week Three

The Pro dancers wow us with a West Side Story medley, a real showstopper to cap Broadway week.

The Moment of Truth #1 - Safe: Audalie; Aleames; Rorin; Artolly; Robinita; Robbiola

Bottom Two: Danya. I feared the worse, sadly, it just wasn't memorable enough, really drew the short straw with the Queen musical - not showbizzy, not jazzhandy enough. And I can't see any of those left being in the bottom two except Antonollio and I really don't think they're leaving yet.

Len praises Dan and expresses surprise - we're entertained by the 2011 class of Footloose, Julianne Hough (two time DWTS champion and sister of Cheryl Cole's possibly other half Derek) and Kenny Wormauld, contemporary slowy then the rock'n'roll/break dancing of the title song.

Len's Lens shows Lulu's angelic, dewey, juicy face; Aleames stunning lines; Nancy's slamming around the dance floor, Jason's mucho macho to mucho campo switch, Len cooling himself with the 9 paddle and Russell just so in the moment again.

The Moment of Truth #2 - Safe: Brendulu; Harriona; Jastina; Russia and Pashee - it's Antonollio versus Danya. Bruno says there's a sense of anticipation with Nancy, like lighting a firecracker, you'll never know where she'll land!

But first, Susan Boyle sings Unchained Melody, with a beautiful rumba courtesy of Vincent and Flavia to accompany - the standation is for them.

Clauds asks the two in danger how they feel: Dan, stoic "we were in the bottom three with the judges" and Nancy, sad "it's such a magical world to be in".

The Final Moment of Truth: It's Danya to leave. Never stood a chance, really, I lived in hope but Queen doesn't even whisper Broadway let alone shout it. There are so many better musicals they could have used. You don't mind when someone leaves having performed to their potential, but both the criticism compared to others, and that song choice was pretty unfair and leaves a very unsatisfying feeling. We'll see them on the sofa tomorrow.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: Week Three - On Broadway

They say the neon lights are bright and they were twinkling and sparkling in abundance tonight ... especially with the opening number One Singular Sensation, stunning routine by the pros, gatecrashed by the celebs! Tess' hair looks fab; dresses of the night: Flavia, Erin - Nancy's also very striking. As is Robin's hair! OMG, what were they thinking ... Strictly superfan, Henry Winkler, on the red button. I'm going to resist the urge to say it.

Artolly tango to Cell Block Tango from Chicago "I'm not rude, I'm just Russian" says Artem and they launch into a very stylised, full of Chicago-atmosphere routine with a lot of attack; well done for avoiding a wardrobe malfunction Holly but keep those eyes up! Needed to be a little sharper but overall a great routine and memorable performance. Len (Spamalot, according to Bruce) - be still my beating heart, full of intensity, didn't get fazed by the caught heel; Alesha (dreamgirl) sexy actress emerging, lost a little intent after the caught heel; Bruno (Footloose) smoulderingly tantalising, plenty of promises; Craig (Les Miserable) liked the strong, bold, drama and drive of it, needed more tension, and to be cleaner and sharper, very much enjoyed it. Score: 7/8/7/8 = 30.

Danya with a sweet VW to Somebody to Love from We Will Rock You. Smiley Dan, nice story line he's acting it out; needs to pull up a bit, little bit skippy but a nice feel, moved well around the floor. Alesha - so much potential, comfortable in hold; Bruno - more like a casual acquaintance of Katya, didn't capture the spirit of the song, more intensity needed; Craig - awkward nature about you, continue through all the movement, get up on your toes; Len - I come to praise Dan, not to bury him, frame was good, footwork good, judges want too much. Score: 5/7/6/6 = 24

Robinita and a jive to You Can't Stop The Beat but I'm just going to be staring at The Wig. The blonde one in training suits him more. Anita needs to point her toes and pick up her feet more, looking very lazy, needs to match her Latin to her ballroom standard, full of character but I didn't enjoy her dancing much if I'm honest, pretty laboured. Bruno - performance always great , needs to be sharper, more precise and cleaner in kicks and flicks; Craig - too loose, technically very messy, point your toes, pick your feet up (isn't it scary when you agree with Craig!) loved the characterisation; Len - fun, energetic and entertaining; Alesha - no-one gives two hoots about your toes (beg to differ on that, makes it ugly) Entertaining, lit up the room. Score: 6/7/7/7 = 27.

Aleames VW to Memory from Cats and it's a beautiful beginning, lyrical, dreamlike, better posture, gorgeous routine with a reprise of the opening at the end. Craig - clever choreography, simple and uncomplicated, would've liked a little more dancing but loved the routine; Len - simply beautiful; Alesha - most improved, elegant and dreamy, told a story, wonderful; Bruno - beginning like a magical bird stretching her wings to take flight. Score: 8/8/8/8 = 32.

Rorin QS to Top Hat, White Tie and Tails from Top Hat and it's a very creditable, classy routine, as ever from Erin, got a little stuck in one corner, stray leg still there, charleston good, character and style, captured the spirit. Len - the right song, right style, right routine, your best dance; Alesha - held the character; Bruno - all the razzle dazzle, be careful with the trout pout; Craig - sorry to put a dampener on it, flat hands, need to point feet but full of style, panache and confidence, brilliant job Score: 7/8/8/8 = 31

Brendulu rumba to All I Ask Of You from Phantom of the Opera and she's still singing along to a lovely routine by Brendan, not as sinuous but not surprising - no length of bone, as Craig would say, but she was elegant and musical and it really showed there. Gorgeous lift too. Alesha - great story, told it brilliantly; Bruno - so lyrical and fluid, difficult choreography, very well done; Craig - illegal lifts will not be tolerated; Len - you have to break eggs to make an omelette, sometimes you need to break the rules to make the routine. Score: 5/7/7/7 = 26.

Antonollio tango to Be Italian from Nine - great leg extension, haughty, simple routine full of drama, a bit floppy in parts though. Bruno - impetuous, peek a boo legs, actually looked like a tango, carry on this way; Len - tension of a curled sponge, lots of style, no substance; Alesha - liked the intro, the drama, character, strengthen your body from top to toe, an improvement. Score: 4/5/5/6 = 20

Audalie QS to Too Darn Hot! Jazz hands alert - good ones too! Nifty footwork, light on his feet, lost some speed and tripped himself but good rhythm, had fun with it and better than I was expecting. Craig - timing out, more energy needed in charleston, much much lighter than anticipated - loved the acting; Len - from waist up, joyful, full of verve - very good job, well done; Alesha - good content, full of smiles; Bruno - fantastic job with feet the size of surfboards. Score: 5/6/6/7 = 24

Robbiola tango to Gimme Gimme Gimme from Mamma Mia - loving that tango face, perfect! Strong, great attitude, little stumble but full of attack and energy, great effort. Len -attack, intent, aggression; Alesha - be proud, bundles of attitude and passion; Bruno - Mamma Mia, how can I resist you; Craig - full of aggression, passion, attack, assertive. Score: 7/7/8/8 = 30. He is now officially hooked I'd say!

Russia foxtrot to Don't Rain On My Parade from Funny Girl - told you he could ballroom dance - oh, back in hold Flav, he was so smooth and elegant, there you go - timing, musicality and personality. Fab, loved it. Superb in hold, let him do more please, it's gorgeous. Alesha - showbiz, ballroom, broadway, so positive; Bruno - uplifting quality of blazing sunshine, very good foxtrot, enjoyed so much; Craig - I would advise a more masculine approach *cue hysterial laughter from everyone* Len - A little white cloud drifting across the floor, put the show in showbiz. Score: 6/7/7/8 = 28.

Jastina tango to I Will Survive from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and you can never have too many feathers or "Hah's" pure show number, attack and personality, loved the disco break, brilliant. Bruno - strong, powerful, camp as Xmas, fantastic; Craig - Stu-pen-dous; Len - the midwife, you keep delivering; Alesha - incredible tango with a twist, keep blowing me away. Score: 9/9/9/9 = 36

Pashee cha cha to Beggin' from Jersey Boys and she can certainly move, transitions sometimes lose her and needs to be a bit neater because she really gets the routine and her cha cha technique is there but hit and miss, bubbly and full of energy. Craig - timing, energy and spirit fantastic but haphazard and too disco; Len - needs attention to detail but you give it some welly, some strong footwork; Alesha - so close to being a great cha cha, just tighten up a few things; Bruno - cheeky, sexy, playful and rhythmical. Score: 6/8/8/8 = 30

Harriona jive to Greased Lightning and it's my favourite performance from Harry yet, much more relaxed and raw, his kicks and flicks were excellent - if only we'd seen more of them. Timing and musicality apparent, less of the staged show dance and more actual dancing next time please. Len - I'm impressed, lovely sharp kicks and flicks, great musicality - your best dance; Alesha - lot of messing about but liked it, very good; Bruno - all grrrrrrrreased up, action packed, expressive, I almost hate you, very good performance; Craig - be careful of Bruno in in the bar, finally arrived. Score: 8/8/9/8 = 33

The Scoreboard:
Jastina 36 = 13
Harriona 33 =12
Aleames 32 = 11
Rorin 31 = 10
Robbiola 30 = 9
Artolly 30 = 9
Pashee 30 = 9
Russia 28 = 8
Robinita 27 = 7
Brendulu 26 = 6
Audalie 24 = 5
Danya 24 = 5
Antonollio 20 = 4

Why oh why though, are we having so many song repeats? Have they cut the band's budget that much? And why are the judges so very much harsher with Dan than with others who aren't technically proficient? And is it my imagination that the scores overall are much higher for this stage of the competition than usual? Are they deserved? Really? Why aren't the pros letting their celebs dance all through - is it really the dumbing down on Strictly we're seeing? Yes, we want entertainment, but it has to be in the context of the recognisable dance and not instead of. Rant over. Results at 7.25pm tomorrow night!

Friday, 14 October 2011

Dirty Dancing Stars Voted Top By LoveFilmers

Dazzling and delighting fans of all ages with their spectacular final routine in Dirty Dancing, Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey have been voted king and queen of the movie dance floor.

To celebrate the launch of dance re-make Footloose on Friday, the couple came out on top in a poll by LOVEFiLM - Europe's largest subscription service streaming movies and TV episodes over the internet and sending DVDs by post - having the time of their lives with 20 per cent of the votes.

John Travolta and Uma Thurman's twisting turn in Pulp Fiction wiggled into second place in the poll with 15 per cent of the vote. We knew that Travolta could dance, but this scene at Jack Rabbit Slims was a welcome reminder of his skills on the floor and Uma made the perfect partner. Splashing into third place is Gene Kelly in the iconic scene from Singin' In The Rain (14 per cent), which includes some steps that will be replicated for years to come.

In fourth place is the infamous stage scene from 2004's Napoleon Dynamite (10 per cent) in which Jon Heder's estranged and nerdy high school youth blew us away with some unconventional shapes from side shuffle to classic jazz hands. Snake-hipped John Travolta strikes again in fifth place (eight per cent), this time hand-jiving up the list with his slick solo routine from Saturday Night Fever.

Following closely in sixth place (seven per cent) is Kevin Bacon with those highly-charged moves from the original Footloose. These steps won the hearts of most teenage girls in the 80s, and Bacon's fight for the right to move his feet is very firmly in the top ten. Taking joint seventh place (both with five per cent) are Mike Myers, with his cat-like cavorting in that unforgettable scene in The Spy Who Shagged Me, and Jennifer Beals, who changed our perception of a bucket of water forever with her heated dance display in Flashdance.

In eighth place (four per cent) are Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan in Step Up, an urban dance classic with a thrilling final scene. The fancy footwork was only helped by the tension between the two leads, and we watched every step wondering whether they would get together. Taking ninth place are the lads from The Full Monty, with a routine that you simply could not forget even if you tried (three per cent). Finally, creeping into tenth place are Michael Cera and Jonah Hill with their Superbad routine (two per cent): a few very retro and awkward steps delivered with the style and humour that only the Superbad boys could manage.

Helen Cowley, Editor of LOVEFiLM, commented: "Whilst it is clear that dance films are quickly becoming a guilty pleasure that we are happy to admit to, it is interesting that the classic Dirty Dancing moves have been revealed as the ultimate favourites. Neither the sheer coolness of Pulp Fiction or the comedic genius of Austin Powers could compete with this film's romance - illustrated perfectly in that famous lift.

"LOVEFiLM's streaming service makes it easy to compare a huge variety of dance moves from thousands of films at the click of a mouse - and perhaps even learn a few. With even more titles available on DVD, the dance action can be brought straight to your front door so that you don't miss a trick."

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two- Wednesday Warm-Up!

Zoe hasn't lost it - the jazz hands are out but first - congratulations Sir Brucie, who was officially given his Knighthood today.

Antonollio on the sofa and Nancy (Tickles your nancy) has mixed emotions, happy to be saved, sad someone had to go; there'll be subtitles next week, so we know whether to laugh or cry! She agreed that looking up her dress must have been an incredible exciting moment for Len! Anton (Nancy's boy) said the tango is going very nicely - no comedy! They do have a great partnership so be prepared for a shock exit this week ...

Dancer in Disguise: Hm, tougher this time - quite small, initial thought is Vincent, or possibly even Flavia. Pesky lion suit.

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #1: Se-Ven styles of dance, difficult to compare but ... Robinita jive - symmetrical; Artolly tango - lyrical; Brendulu rumba - a perfect standing Eros, the hardest step, if only she could walk without falling over! Aleames VW - quality of movement has improved again but hold still wrong; Pashee cha cha - confident, will suit cheeky Chelsee.

Jastina on the sofa and Jason (Any dance will do) says it's the great feeling you get from performance that drives him; Kristina (loving the leaderboard) says not every dance will suit but he's an amazing pupil. Tango to I Will Survive from Priscilla, I already can't wait - Monet versus Gilbert and George! And he might be in drag, or not!

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #2: Rorin quickstep - few issues, stray leg, tricky steps, coping well, fluid; Harriona jive - long intro without jive, bit of swing, flicks and kicks eventually look good; Danya VW - suits him, close the gap in the oversway, difference between a 6 or a 7; Audalie quickstep - early days, needs to dance through the body to hand or step finish, pedestrian at present; Robbiola tango - not happy with hold, needs to be stronger.

Russia on the sofa and Russell (still Mama Rose) expected tolerance, not standing ovations - Happy Anniversary to James and Ola, eight years today! Every day is a joy, he's dancing in his sleep but Moira, the producer, won't let him wear his can can outfit till later in the series. Foxtrot - to Don't Rain On My Parade!

Dancer in Disguise - the Reveal: It's Vincent! Am now slightly scaring myself - I'm not really that obsessed, surely? End credits - Vincent in The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

In other news - it's goes against all my beliefs and my eyes are screaming "No, no, take it away ..." Jason Gardiner strips off for charity. I'm thinking they could at least have spray tanned him, maybe a shave ...

There's an extended version of the Broadway trailer ...

Brucie has a new album due out, which features a duet of Smile with his granddaughter.

Adult lifestyle show Erotica has dropped it's Strictly theme. Although it will still feature dancing, there'll be no sign of a glitter ball!

The Daily Mail reports that Nancy was going to sue over the champagne jibes. LMFAO. Says more about the Mail again, I think, rather than Nancy. They're becoming more like The Scatter everyday. I mean, if you're going to quote at least get the quotes right - Bruno never mentioned a brand ... and it takes two of them to write it! Dear Mr.Editor, whatever you're paying them, I can do it for less. Seriously. I could take every line I write about the show and come up with a whole fresh article just like they do! Thank you for your time ...

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Dress Release

Audalie on the sofa and Audley (off the hook) felt the dance deserved more, it's the best they've danced it. New shoes now, 27 people worked over three weeks to get them ready! Closing the door - checking his turn so he doesn't punch Nat (Lowe-down and dirty). The Humming Man has a foxtrot this week, was supposed to be samba ...

Rorin on the sofa and Erin (Boag-ie nights) has gone for a New Romantic look; Rory (Boag-ie's Man) needs to not be so hard on himself - there's self deprecating and being positive and then there's sounding like you want sympathy votes, so stop it! Erin can have any man she wants every day; Rory says you wouldn't want Craig breaking any bad news to you, nor would he be good in a hostage situation. He's getting to grips with Craig and Bruno, impression wise, Len needs work - and then he can have a go at Alesha's Muttley snigger. Stunning impression of Jason, if you'd closed your eyes you'd have believed he'd invaded the sofa!

Zandra Rhodes (I take back all my previous comments - I met her fairly recently at a lecture and I can tell you, she is an incredibly inspiring woman. So she can wear whatever she likes) and Oona O'Hagen on the sofa for the dress release - Alex in Hawaiian pink, movement, weight, 16 godets, perfect for foxtrot, jewelled sweetheart neckline, 4000 blue tinged iridescent crystals; Chelsey's very clever trousers, tight, fringy - 10 metres of material, looks skimpy but heavily constructed; Anita's bold spot, Carmen Mirandery headgear, severe halter softened by ruffles; Nancy's 9000 crystals took a day and a half to sew, flesh through mesh took our eyes of her feet (Zoe's words, not mine!)

Aleames on the sofa and Alex (Fox-y Lady) was still nervous but could hide behind the fan, which James (keeping up with the Jones) cleverly made her shake to hide her shaking! But very pleased, she's picking up things more quickly and understanding how her body moves. Teacher's Pet now! VW this week, difficult music!

Karen Hardy's Choreography Corner: Robbiola so clever, style and panache, took control, acting, relationship between them, perfect timing, driving across the floor in hold; Pashee alternating underarm turns - never seen before, Pasha stamping his mark, exciting, huge lift for week 2, more to come; Jastina and Jessica Rabbit, took the Bugsy era, gave him a role to play, very strong, comfortable but there are faults with top line, arms too parallel, should be 'L' shaped, powerful performance, time to work on it; Artolly will never excite Len with walking and knicker flashing, steps need to join together like a jigsaw to create the flow of the dance; Brendulu so clever, in teaching hold so he could guide, cared about her, technically lots wrong but she got the steps; Antonollio all goes horribly wrong when her feet finally hit the floor after the opening! Till the morrow, same time.

Monday, 10 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Edwina's Exit!

Vinwina on the sofa and Edwina (Feeling blue) couldn't bear to watch the show, so sad for Vincent (Ciao Bella) who thinks the judges were overly harsh and he now can't sleep at night, thinking what he could have done differently. And he wants to be a politicianist when he retires ...cue soppy vids; she's looking for a Latin teacher in Stockport - if you're a young male Latin teacher in Stockport, be afraid. Be very afraid ...

Points of You: "Like a giant hugging a hobbit" When Audley hugged Vincent!

Craig (Dancing Revel-ation) on the sofa says Edwina was the right one to go - it was a little D.U.L.L. and of the others: Audley got into the groove and released; Chelsey wasn't earthed, sporadic, bit more control needed; Lulu - relief, rumba next, bit concerned as she's short of bone; Jason not perfect but he's an entertainer; Harry and Russell, same score? Cannot compare, two different dances, Harry's posture all wrong; Rory "What can he do to improve?" "Be more talented!" Holly ahead of the beat, throw caution to the wind; Nancy "What can Anton do?" "Not a lot. Pray. She's going at him like a lobster!"???? I'd love to peek inside Craig's head, to see the pictures he sees when he's watching the dances ...

Behind the scenes with DancerCam - Russell to give Robbie camp lessons; Vincent: "It's good for the audience to meet me so they realise I'm not just a fantasy!" Pashee being squeezed into his shirtpants *ahem*.

Danya on the sofa - we all looked up lumpestuous (it doesn't exist) and Dan (Mr. Lobber Lobber) is still confused by the judges! Katya (Playing Kat-ch up) wanted them to have fun, hence the Lobb Step (the round and round move!) He's a joker: Why do elephants have big ears? Katya: I don't know - Dan: Cos Noddy won't pay the ransom *bboom* Katya: Who's Noddy? And then the bear who walks into a bar ..... and orders a pint. Why the paws? Because I'm a bear. *cue tumbleweed* Someone in production is going to pay for that! VW next. Hm, Broadway. Hm, repeating songs - who votes 'Memory'?

Robbiola on the sofa and Robbie (off the bench) thinks he was overmarked, to cries of "no, no" from everyone, don't say that! It was one of the best moments of his life, felt like he was wanted, with everyone shouting his name, aw. Ola (Umbrola-ola-ola - I think I'm slightly in love with caption man, or have a girl-crush if it's a she!) says it's great to have judges comments like that! Tango next, the bar is raised. The spins are difficult, what's a spot? He's still overwhelmed, hope he's recovered by Saturday, Tango = aggressive!

End credits - Hairplay.

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing Result Show, Week Two

Straight into a Latinfest pro dance to Edge of Glory - Tess in beige and armour and Clauds is back, yay! Recap and Moment of Truth #1:

Safe: Robbiola; Brendulu; Jastina; Aleames; Artolly; Pashee
Bottom Two: Audalie!

Alesha disappointed, he wasn't the worst, came out and tried so hard. Doesn't deserve to be there. Bruno says Alex has to keep refining, retain the energy and self confidence for Latin.

Over to Clauds - to Robbie, re the brolly: "If it rains now, you'll go outside and say 'Play havoc with my hair'"

Will Young and new single Come On. Yes, come on, let's get him on Strictly properly, he's fab! His dancers must be well hacked off though, being made to wear those wigs, what an appalling look - fire the stylist! Ooops, and a wardrobe malfunction at the end there!

The judges with Clauds and Len's Lens - every move they make, every step they take etc. Antonollio all went pear shaped; Pashee the bootylicious babe, eat your heart out Beyonce; Robbie's panache and style; Robinita's professionalism. And The Grant - the ecstasy, high as a kite, danced with gusto.

Broadway week next week, whoop! Auditions underway, featuring Holly and Russell in The Can Can; Technicolour Jason; Rory and Nancy in Mary Poppins; Anita and Lulu in Aladdin; Edwina and Chelsee in Wicked; Robbie, Dan and Harry do Swan Lake; Alex and Audley are the panto cow!

The Moment of Truth #2:
Safe: Robinita; Rorin; Danya! Yay! Harriona; Russia
Bottom Two: Vinwina!

Which means Antonollio leap frogged at least three other couples! The Antonettes have got his back again!

It's Audalie versus Vinwina in the Final Moment of Truth: Vinwina are gone! She thanks Vincent, he says he didn't expect to have so much fun with her being a politicianist! They dance away to Bye Bye Love. Till next week, 6.35pm.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing Week 2 - Robbie tames the savage within!

And we've a sparkly Tess at last! First out - Pashee and their salsa to Higher, a great floor-rockin' start, full of fun and energy not so much of the basic steps and lacking the fluidity - but superb armography made up for it, two different sections fast and perfectly executed, happy to overlook another slight stumble - top lifts! Fab start to the show. Len - was feeling chilly round the willy, warmed me up a treat (he seriously didn't get the hysteria at that comment!) Full on, hair and trousers crazy, calm down, almost too full on but great; Alesha: - Fun, flirty and fearless, bounce and personality, beginning so impressive, could be calmer but rather you go for it than hold back, commend the lifts; Bruno - I love you, the energy of a wild kitten, vivacious and wild, every Tom, Dick and Harry hot under the collar, underarm passes very good; Craig - a little bit bouncy and unearthed, loved the alternating underarm spins, lifts fantastic. Score: 7/7/8/7 = 29

Vinwina with a tango inspired foxtrot, elegant start, pretty dress, credible effort, needs to sort posture, Len won't like all the messin' about but timing there and maintained the romance/leching throughout. Len - too much messin' about - more content needed; Alesha - getting into character, really nice when you were dancing; Bruno - naughty Edwina spending all the time playing footsy with Vincent under the table, like a bendy bus on the floor; Craig - when you fiiinally got into it, hunched of shoulder, balance occasionally questionable, not enough foxtrot. Score: 4/5/5/5/ = 19

Audalie salsa to Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, fun to watch, he's into it, forgot about the balls of his feet though, impressed they nailed the armography, how Nat managed the height difference - not quite bouncy or fast enough but he's got rhythm and a good effort. Alesha - lit up the room, tried so hard, did your best, you were enjoying it, so was I; Bruno - Audley let loose, disco night, more like a hustle, energy great, good to see you let it all go; Craig - flat footed, but not surprising, run ungainly but you've got a groove going and have hip rotation; Len -it's easy to look clumsy but this was neat, nicely placed, everything orderly, Audley. Score: 5/6/6/6/ = 23 The one thing that bothers me about Audalie though - there's no physical contact between them - watch all the others, hands everywhere, all the time - apparently Audley's wife isn't keen on that, if you get my drift - but it means there isn't the closeness there and that will cost them.

Aleames and James is electrocuting her into remembering left from right! Have You Met Miss Jones the song and she acts the part admirably, using both John Prescott and Bruno. Terrific start and a fab routine, much improved, elegant and confident. Bruno - Miss Jones, no idea you were such a glamour puss, equal parts sophistication, sex appeal, elegance, great flow, like a young Joan Collins. Pleasantly surprised! Craig - pivots a bit off centre but ballroom definitely suits you more; Len - little bit wobbly, willowy - the key to this competition is to improve each week and you have; Alesha - understated and really charming, you can dance, believe it. Score: 6/8/7/8 = 29

Danya salsa to Upside Down (like the song but not for a salsa) But ooh, handspring to start, nifty on his feet, plenty of movement, nailed a risky lift, he's got rhythm, less lifts more dancing please. Jolly good effort. Craig - thank you for the handspring and smile, the rest lumpestuous??!! Unattractive, transitions in/out of lifts not good, cut the round and round step "but that's his favourite" cuts in Katya! Len - penguinish dosey-doe but if that's your worst you've a long way to go; Alesha - I don't think my mum would think that unattractive, you've got the goods, commend you on the lifts; Bruno - Mr Lobb - rhymes with Bob the Builder, swinging around like a bag of cement, lumbering and heavy. Score: 4/6/6/5 = 21 Pretty unfair comments and score I think, no credit for the fact that he actually went for it and showed a lot of promise for other Latin.

Brendulu and a redemptive foxtrot, an arty start with the mirror, anyone else holding their breath along with me and Lulu? Apart from a small balance issue and head placement it was well acted and elegant, well choreographer for her by Brendan, redemption achieved. Len - got through it, now work on polish, posture and feet, an improvement; Alesha - so much better, much more focused and in control, very atmospheric, lovely; Bruno - Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest one of all - you were, played it with the emotional fragility of a teenager in love whose heart is about to be broken, needs polish but you can dance if you want to; Craig - trying to keep up, chasing Brendan and need to decide to look left or right, not at Brendan's chest but lovely pivots and a really gorgeous standing spin. Score: 5/6/7/7 = 25

Artolly salsa and we have a maraca but not for long! Mas Que Nada the song (about the 3rd outing on SCD), but more a samba. Still not as convincing as I'd like her to be, slight error at the start but caught up, once she really let's go she'll be fab - it'll be good to see her ballroom, her lines and posture are too good for us to not see her do that. Alesha - you are a goddess, everything well placed, please just let go, stop questioning yourself, you could be amazing; Bruno - Stunner with a capital 'S' top of the range equipment, a few gremlins to sort out; Craig - some timing issues, limbo straddle need more but whole routine really great; Len - overriding criticism - go faster, apart from the limbo moves thought it was great. Score: 7/7/8/8 = 30

Rorin salsa to Matt and Flavia's song Vehicle - he's quite loose, working his feet and hips and what a shimmy! Actually looked and felt the most traditional salsa tonight! Go Rory - good effort! Bruno - Rory roaring into action full frontal attack *he's up* full of energy, gotta keep the fluidity going *cue Bruno impression*; Craig - like a rat caught on a sticky strip, no movement, I was slightly nervous every step you took; Len - you know how I feel, sat next to you! Not a natural dance for an English bloke (Rory's a Scot but we know what he means!) we don't flaunt our wobbly bits - high energy and give it a go and that's what you've gotta do in the salsa; Alesha - straight in, no messing, lots of personality, loved the shimmying, loosen up a bit. Score: 4/6/6/6 = 22

Robbiola foxtrot with an umbrella prop, oh no! But - very debonair, lovely opening, totally sold it, good timing, charming routine, the brolly did as it should! Well done, lovely surprise of a performance! Len - you little beauty, I'm tellin' ya *laughs at Craig* the more you give the more you get! Alesha - opening section fantastic, light footed, charming, beautiful choreography, right on track; Bruno - hair glistening like spun gold, teeth like piano keys, slick, confident, debonair; Craig - head placement needs sorting but showbiz and showmanship, I loved it! Score: 7/8/7/7 = 29 He's speechless, bless him; Jason's making up for it!

Robinita vocalise their salsa in training, live there's a little mistake early doors but she kept calm and carried on, nailed it thereafter, good fun, great partnership. Len - one or two incidents, fantastic fun fun fun; Alesha - put us all in the mood for cocktails Bruno - tropical tutti frutti cocktails, so much fun; Craig - bit like Bonnie Langford being chased by a barking Dalmation but danced brilliantly. Score: 7/7/7/7 = 28 Brian came in a Cuban shirt to support, isn't that nice?

Jastina foxtrot to Why Don't You Do Right and Jason does - he's giving Kristina the chance to finally express herself. Pure Hollywood, timing wonderful, classily delivered. Alesha - a real showman, committed 100%, mirrored each other, seductive; Bruno - So LA Confidential, great to see! Craig - head position needs attention, bit stiff, classy, stylish, magnificent routine; Len - full of flair and personality, footwork mostly good. Score: 8/8/9/9 = 33

Antonollio starting their salsa with the seduction of Craig and Len. Lifts, bit clumsy on the transitions, specially the last one; plenty of movement and not as stompy as training suggested but lots of mistakes again, I feel quite sorry for her. Bruno - looks like you've had a few gallons of champagne, no idea where you were but great style and glamour; Craig - frenetic, frantic, frenzied, any of those 'f' words *cue mock shock looks*; Len - best bit was the crafty glance up your dress, game girl, few incidents, kept going, well done; Alesha - can't work out whether you were trying to be funny or if it just was, didn't work for me, sorry. Ouch Alesha! Score: 3/5/2/4 = 14

Harriona foxtrot to Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars, not Billy Joel, strange choice I thought and just didn't get into it - until I watched it again and then I fell under its spell and found it quite lovely - dislike the floor spin in the foxtrot though and while his timing is perfect he needs to show more flair and less deliberate placement. Craig - you can dance BUT Aliona, sort out posture and head, wrist and thumb, could be fantastic; Len- nothing great but nothing terrible, lacked finesse and quality of movement, lift your chin; Alesha - one of the best dancers in this competition, was romantic, use the criticism and turn into a positive; Bruno - something very special, strong, focused, with the right nurturing will be fantastic. Score: 6/6/8/7 = 27

Russia having far too much fun together! Salsa to Dancing Queen, he didn't miss a beat, brilliant fun. But let's see him in ballroom now, I'm sure he'll do fine! Len - put the 'boy' in flamboyant! Alesha - adorable, brilliant for us watching you; Bruno - more glitter than a carnival float, I loved it; Craig - wasn't without flaws but darling, a dancing queen tonight, definitely. Score: 6/6/6/7 = 25

So, to the leaderboard:

Jastina: 32+33=65 14
Artolly: 28+30=58 13
Pashee: 27+29=56 12
Robinita: 28+28=56 12
Harriona: 28+27=55 11
Aleames: 22+29=51 10
Rorin: 27+22=49 9
Robbiola 19+29=48 8
Russia 21+25=46 7
Danya 21+21=45 6
Audalie 20+23=43 5
Brendulu 17+25=42 4
Vinwina 17+19=36 3
Antonollio 12+14=26 2

The scoring system I'm still not in favour of - Pashee and Robinita should have got 11 1/2 points each so the board can wind down to 1. With the Antonettes of the world no doubt uniting, Russia and Robbiola will be safe, which may leave Danya in the danger zone, sadly, possibly with Audalie and Vinwina, I hope Danya are safe as I think there's so much more to come from them.

Results Sunday 7.25pm, BBC 1!

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Sneak Previews

Straight in with Rorin on the sofa but why are we seeing their waltz training? Rory (making an impression) says the salsa is a different animal and he's making Erin (shalsha shizzler) knobbly-kneed (her words) with his Sean Connery impression and cracked us all up with his Julian Clary "he tweeted to say it lacks light and shade" - spot on! They're dancing to Matt and Flavia's song, Vehicle - makes you wonder if they are running out, Foxy! He thinks he needs hip replacement - his replaced with Artem's. Erin's had two inches removed from his waistline! He reckons she should be available on the NHS: patience, good sense of humour, clean driving licence, cleaning, baby sittings ...

Dishing on the dirty dancer - his dream partner is Victoria Beckham - he's the nicest, sweetest pro - wears great vests - biggest guns - it's obviously Robin *fast forwards* yes, it is!

Robbiola on the sofa and Robbie (Blonde Beauty) was embarrassed by Craig's comments last weeks. Ola (Ola- la) says criticism doesn't get easier, you just get on with it. And she's never had a partner with better hair and teeth than her! They're dancing to Ain't That A Kick in the Head.

Alesha should have been on the show but she's unwell so there's a birthday montage from the pro dancers and a pop-up-from-a-box: Russell has done her a full chart!

Maudlin videos of why they don't want to go home and then it's down to Pashee on the studio floor, shaking a lot, much harder than she thought. Trying to teach Pasha some Manchester lingo, like 'daft'! Or 'darft' as Zoe says. It's Sleeping Beauty Strictly Style and her yawning's making me yawn! But their song choice is fab-u-lous: Higher - and the armography looks amazing!

End credits - Jaws theme. Feather Boa Contstrictor. Lots of mugging to camera! But I'm not happy there's no Friday Panel!

In other news: Darren Gough's 10-point plan on how to win the Strictly Glitter Ball; Nigel Lythgoe and Debbie Allen to co-host US art network Ovation's the Battle of the Nutcrackers!

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Bring on the Tools!

It's the latest training updates - ballroom boys first: Harriona are looking so elegant, even through Harry's pain;likewise Robbiola, very smooth in hold, out of it needs more finesse; Jastina also going well, although he's having to work much harder - they're on the sofa ...

Jason (Aussie Rules) says it was such a big buzz on Saturday it's difficult to re-focus, it was one of only a handful of moments in his life that gave him such a lift. Kristina (Next door neighbour) is feeling dizzy - she's never topped the leader board before, or had such amazing comments from the judges! He's worried about his serious face and his legs going to jelly on the telly, but he has nailed a smooth Bugsy Malone character!

Foxy ladies training - Aleames struggling with her arms but timing looks good; Brendulu and she's struggling to keep up "it's a beautiful interpretation of something" says Brendan; Vinwina struggling with technique and elegance but working hard. They're on the sofa ...

Edwina (Poppa-dame) says her daughter is having sequin parties, that's how into it the family are. Vincent (Side dish) says the hardest challenge of his life is getting her to do as she's told. There could be murder on the dance floor on Saturday; not sure whether to cry or smile over the foxtrot yet.

Salsa ladies - Pashee freaking out, very fast, but she's going to be fab if she nails it; Robinita making their own musical accompaniment and it all looks to be there; Artolly again getting the routine but still has to let go; Antonollio - Anton will have to get his shirt off, still stompy, no fluidity. I can hear Craig now - brace yourselves.

Salsa gents - Danya - massive throwy type lift, reminiscent of Artara's one-armed finish thingy last year, athletic and natural, just needs sexy. Katya's happy! Audalie has hips and he's funky. Nat says he's like a sponge, remembers well - she's happy too! Rorin are looking fluid, quick feet - could be a very nice surprise! Russia's still loving it, lots of shimmying and shaking going on! They're on the sofa ...

Zoe reveals - Russell (Shell suited) used to babysit Claudia! The most random collection on a sofa ever - matching cushions and dresses, no shoes, recycling feather boas, being psychic and, he wants his costume NOW: Lots of ruffles for Russell!

D'you know what, we could be seeing a tale of two halves on the leader board this weekend - the top half male and the bottom half female, judging from these snippets!

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Wednesday Warm Up

Artolly on the sofa and Holly (Holl Lotta Talent) says the wardrobe department are incredible. They didn't supply those, frankly, quite weird shoes she's wearing. Artem (Chig the champ) in Terminator 2: The Return. He's amazed she hasn't walked out. Salsa is goooooood, with the emphasis on doubtful.

Dancer in Disguise - can we recognise him? I'm sure it's a him, I can't imagine one of the ladies wearing that gorilla suit- it would appeal to the more macho of the men and style-wise, I'm thinking James.

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #1 After a brief sojourn to the vintage year of Zoe and Ian, Ian gives us the low down so far this week - foxtrots first: Brendulu - Lulu doing brilliantly well, yay! Heel turns! Robbiola could be really good, foxtrot technique excellent, keep arms up. Impeccable footwork. Ooooh! Vinwina - keeps eye contact, focused. Aleames much more at home and relaxed, left shoulder too far forward, make space. Jastina quality of movement, gorgeous long neck just like Ian's, lovely big strides, looks amazing - another good weekend ahead!

Antonollio on the sofa - What happened? Nancy (Boa constricted) said the stole was supposed to stay on the chaise lounge! When did you realise it was going wrong? Anton (Beke to basic) The Thursday before! Cut to mics during the performance and Anton's stream of encouragement - Nancy: What are you doing? Anton: Dancing. Keep going. Disappointed they couldn't show the dance, it was sweeping and musical. Salsa this week - bit stompy, no hips.

Points of You: Graham says Anton should have stopped and asked for a re-run; Karen asks: Did anyone else see Brendan nearly fall down the stairs and then give it some nonchalance?

Waite's Wednesday Warm-Up #2 - Salsas: Danya, using his height to good effect, big lift; Pashee - snakey hips, mirroring perfectly; Audalie - could move a lot more, get on the balls of his feet; Robinita doing really well, having the time of her life, needs releasing into her hips; Rorin needs more fluidity and rhythm, co-ordinate arms and hips; Russia - shimmmmy shimmmmyyyyy ...but why has Flav got the offending boa? Surely not?

Dancer in Disguise - the Reveal: It's James! Yay. I should've tweeted cos I bet you won't believe me!

Harriona on the sofa. Harry (When Harry met Ali) said it helped having the McFly boys there and Aliona (I'll have what she's having) said she does respect and listen to the judges but doesn't take it on board! Harry not so comfortable with the hip action, thinks it too womanly. Frankly Harry, in that video, that was mincing, let's say it as it is. Foxtrot looking quite lovely though, the armography particularly - hence they've renamed it the swantrot! Roll credits!

In other news, Len Goodman is on Who Do You Think You Are tonight, 9pm, BBC1. Yes, I know - it's probably past that now - there's always i-player! And Alesha Dixon will be hosting the MOBOs live with Jason Derulo from 10pm on BBC3.

The Guardian asks: Who should join Jessie J on the judging panel of The Voice, the Beeb's version of an American show, where the judges don't see the performers during their audition (although, as someone points out, the producers probably do and we all know how X-Factor/BGT work). But I may be tuning in, just in case we do discover a new Luther Vandross!

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two: Dancing debrief!

We've Aleames, Robinita, Danya and Karen Hardy's Choreography Corner! Like the Singing Corner (remember that?) only with more sequins!

And a wardrobe malfunction, as Zoe's bangle catches her sparkly jumper, unravels and tips her into Aleames' laps*; they're first on the sofa. *almost

Alex (Welsh One-der) was embarrassed with the sexy solo - since her dad was right there! James (Dancer Defender) says Craig was too harsh, no-one was being eliminated, he could've been more encouraging; he knocked some of the contestants for six and now they all have to deal with the confidence issues. Foxtrot next and there's already improvement - and they have a prop *eek*!

Choreography Corner #1 - Friday: Artolly - Artem the king - dynamic - interacting - speed changes - but Holly - eyes UP! Brendulu - meltdown tv - car crash - dancing is a leveller - must deliver the steps! Audalie - clever Nat - 3 days training - quite magical - swishes - turns - needs steps! Robbiola - Leading - brings her in - takes her down - in a partnership it's all about the woman, Ola will feel like a million dollars - he's got time - he's fabulous - great body too! Russia - the John Travolta days - if he does panto all the way through, we'll get bored - make him dance! Robinita - quintessential waltz - encases - presents - makes her feel like a lady.

Danya on the sofa and Dan (Danny Long Legs) is confused by the comments, some harsh, some not. Katya (Kat-ya if you can) says he WILL be hitting great lines. Passionate partners - if I yell at you, it's because I love you! Salsa next, looking good, he may be a Latin man and he's going for it 100%! That's what I want to hear!

Introducing Pasha, the newbie. Women want him, men want to be him, 'cept the professionals, who hate him. But not really ;)

Choreography Corner #2 - Saturday: Pashee - ending was too much - but no-one expected her to turn into a lady - less is more next time! Antonollio - shame - she's a prop herself, nothing else needed - got to come out with a rocket Salsa routine next week; Jastina - double whammys - yes, I'm loving this; yes I'm good - great dancing - great choreography - committed; Harriona - lack of hip action - so talented - great things going on - partnering - arms; Rorin - musicality - delivery - classic theatre work; Vinwina - hip action and having a good time!

Robinita on the sofa, general consensus is they're one of the best pairings ever. Both very emotional, Robin (Robin reliant) is welling up again. Anita (Wife of Brian) says it's their shared sense of humour. There may be a Queen tune in their repertoire, possibly! He can be happy or unhappy bobby, but she just calls him squirrel - he can get a lot of grapes in his mouth. Salsa next - it's insane, fast, fantastic - credits are rolling!

In other news - Nigel Lythgoe will be awarded the honorary International Emmy Founders Award at the ceremony on November 21st. And Dancing on Ice stars, Dan, Katie and Stuart turned out for the BIDCA charity ball.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two - Back with added bling!

Zoe glides and twirls her way, via the professional men, to the new sparklicious set. Len's Masterclass will never be the same: The only homage to Claudia - the towering stilettos!

Backstage pass: the nerves; the hairspray; the make up; the top quote: "If Faberge did Humpty Dumpty" - Rory, on Russell!

Brendulu on the sofa and Brendan (Coley-Moley) says Lulu (Great Scot) still performed and "when we remember the routine, we'll be a force to be reckoned with!" Who's the boss? Lulu indicates Brendan, who says "it took her a few days!" Yes Woman montage! Yes. No. Wrong? Will you be listening to him more now? "Yes!" Foxtrot next week - and Brendan wants it known he has NOT had plastic surgery, he just changed his hair, all right?

Audalie on the sofa - they only had three rehearsals together before the show! Mucho Kudos! But not so much for the toe treading. Audley's (The Gloves are Off) Strictly Philosophy ... his inner animal ... the benefits of lying ... mountains ... the politics of dance ... Keep Calm and Carry On! Salsa next week - Nat's (Be-Lowe the belt) excited - Audley talks of letting go, the inner animal's on his way to rock it!

Craig (Revel-Headed) flounces in to declare he thoroughly enjoyed the weekend. Loving the contestants, they're all so different and all have strengths and weaknesses. He didn't punish Aleames' illegal lift, early days. Explaining starchy - Alex wasn't dancing through her body, just placing. He called James' backchat stupid and foolish! And he doesn't care if they're all scared!

Of Vinwina, whom he didn't get to comment on, he says: Writhing around to no effect, granny at a wedding. She does have some movement! Antonollio were fine at the beginning - sitting down. Would've strangled her with the stole. Pashee, he liked, even without a single heal lead and the almost falling over. Genuinely excited by the arm use through to beautiful hands. From Russia he would have liked a few more basics, but Russell has great rhythm and he's looking forward to more entertainment from him next week, and also to Lulu getting it right!

Till the morrow, dear folk!

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Strictly Come Dancing: Week One – Bonza Bonanza

It’s a welcome back to the bad jokes and the occasional chuckly one, the good cop-bad cop judges, the camaraderie and above all, lots of sparkly stuff! We’ve the Red Button again this year – looks like Karen Hardy will be a feature, joined by celeb guest each week – this week, it’s comedian and Let’s Dance’s ‘Single Ladies’ Katy Brand. Tess’ dress – not so good for widescreen, Auntie Su, just sayin’. But I’m loving Kristina’s hair and right up until the stole er, stole the show, I thought Nancy’s was Dress of the Week!

Artolly are out with the cha cha first, to Who’s That Chick – good song choice, feels a bit slow though, nervy but good attempt, tight technique, present out – eyes front, Holly and let yourself go. Len – close to best 1st dance; Alesha – convincing; Bruno – footwork good, needs more bite, go for it, you’ve got it; Craig – needs sharper arm placement, flexed knees, lacked hip action, fantastic flexibility. Score: 6/7/8/7 = 28

Danya next with the waltz Katya promised would be beautiful, and it was. A gorgeous routine to Are You Lonesome Tonight and when he relaxed into it, Dan was smooth and elegant, good musicality, I thought. Len disagreed – bit wooden, lacked musicality, hold good, footwork good; Alesha very elegant, confident, relaxed, be proud; Bruno – technically quite accomplished; perform believably all the way through; Craig – tentative lead, top line hideously rigid, transitions, amalgamations *fingers in ears time* la la la la. Score: 4/7/7/6 = 24

Brendulu with their cha cha and a promising beginning full of attitude unfortunately deteriorated as Lulu decided to sing instead of dance to I Got The Music In Me! Quite a bit made up there, which is a real shame, apparently the rehearsal was fine. Full of energy but I was expecting more from them. Alesha – thanks for getting the party started; Bruno – Weeeeeeeeeeellllllllll – what the hell were you doing? Forget about the steps, nobody cares, energy great, steps down the toilet; Craig – darrnce disarrrster – you made it up from beginning to end; Len – plenty of boom-bang-a-bang but nothing to shout about. (see what he did there, I don’t care if it’s scripted!) Fun and entertaining. Score: 2/5/5/5/ = 17

Audalie in the arms of the Angel for their waltz, emotional song, nice start, not so fluid once they set off. Audley needs to straighten up, let Natalie dance up to him, quite light but a bit flat footed in the spins, good effort, potential there. Bruno – surprisingly light and graceful, refine footwork; Craig – spatulistic hands, standing spin flat footed; Len – a charm about a big geezer doing a waltz, punch Craig when you pass! Score: 3/5/6/6/ = 20

Robbiola’s paso – type cha cha to Bad Boys (I had that down as a jive!) and there’s no denying he went for it! Lacking a few steps but strong partnering and has clearly taken on board everything Ola asked for – there is potential though, I spied some rhythm so it’ll be nice to see what he can do in hold – but it seems that some of them cha cha-ing may have salsa next week, bit unfair. Len – the hair matches; tendency to stand, Ola a wasp at a picnic, best footballer we’ve had; Alesha – ‘A’ for effort, room for growth; Bruno – Robbie, you savage *groan* ravaged the cha cha, nice cleavage (Robbie!); Craig – all very Abercrombie and Fitch, all look no dancing. Score: 2/6/6/5 = 19

Robinita waltz to my favourite waltz song, Three Times a Lady – gorgeous lines, bit stuttery occasionally, emotionally connected, well acted, lovely, lovely routine and Anita lost in the moment, so appealing to an audience – my fave so far. Alesha – beautiful to watch, most sincere of the night; Bruno – elegant, poised, beautifully acted; Craig – whole routine gorgeous, watch head placement. Score: 7/7/7/7 = 28

Russia and the most eagerly awaited cha cha of any series, ever! Dancing to Venus and emerging from oyster shells - he’s got it, oh baby, he’s got it! Timing, that it! Who else is smiling? All the way through? Yeah. That’s what we want, seeing someone having a Good Time! Bruno – it’s uncanny, Frankie Howerd doing Bananarama (no, don’t think literally. Ew); Len – macho! Love it!; Alesha – first standation, let’s go clubbing! Craig – the birth of something, not Venus! Score: 4/5/6/6/ = 21.

Halfway through and they’ve reverted to black out material for Tess’ dress on Saturday night – where’s the sparkle? Harriona kicking us off, a cha cha to best song of the week, Move Like Jagger. Oh, I say, very sexy mover, our Harry, Timing. Smooth. Very proficient, using the drumsticks in training a good move. McFly (Sounds like a Scottish budget airline – Brucie) Oh. Yes. Well done! The band too, fab! Brucie announces that Craig is leaving us at the end of the series but he’s only joking – “we couldn’t manage without you ... we’d like to try but...” Len – Dirty Harry, made my day. Liked the mix, be more oily, bloomin’ good; Alesha – wasted behind the drums, focused, made it look easy; Bruno *eyebrow* very fit, tight, muscular performance, confidence, went for it; Craig – too placed; too clean; too straight; depositing the steps, lacked hip action. Score: 6/7/8/7 = 28

Rorin waltz to When Will I Hold You Again, lovely routine, performed very well, confident and smooth BUT – lose the static Tony Blair vacant smile!!! Alesha – not bad at all, beautiful transfixed smile?! Watch posture, beautifully played; Bruno – channelling Fred, relax the frozen smile, you’re good; Len – first class impression of a waltz; Craig – spot: head follows body, bottom sticks out in spins; turns exaggerated, danced with elegance and panache! Score: 27

Aleames cha cha to When Love Takes Over. But first – you saw it coming a mile off, it was still funny: “Alex says she’s related to Tom Jones/How do you know, there are so many Jones’, it must be quite common/It’s not unusual!” Moving quickly on, a good first effort, she had the attitude, needs more attack, too soft, loved the joint ripple (obviously!) Bruno – sometimes very good, sometimes right exit-left exit-crash position; Craig – incongruous, starchy, stiff, lacked excitement (James cuts in to chastise!) Len – parts really good, parts nearly good – for a first dance, excellent job; Alesha – fun and flirty, all the package, go for it. Score: 4/6/6/6 = 22

Pashee waltz to See The Day – fab vocal from Hayley – and a very confident, elegant start from Chelsee, little stumbly in places, but nice lines and a beautiful waltz, touching and a real connection. Craig – whirling dervish, phrasing excellent, great pivots, some balance issues; Len – started like Petula Clark, ended like Lady GaGa, liked it overall, elegant start, manic end, jolly good, well done; Alesha – a little princess, feminine, dramatic, romantic, placed it really well; Bruno- few stumbles but natural ability to extend lines through phrasing, musicality, looking forward to seeing you grow. Score: 7/6/7/7 = 27 Don’t often see Craig outscore Len!

Vinwina with their cha cha to Build Me Up Buttercup and I’m loving the fringe work on the dress for the most traditional cha cha we’ve seen so far, performed competently. Edwina clearly enjoying herself and not minding showing her knickers to the judges at all! Better than anticipated, tidy job. Len – great fun, danced with confidence, proud of you; Alesha – pitched perfectly, good rhythm; Bruno – the old cougar made the most of the merchandise. Score: 2/5/5/5 – 17

Antonollio waltz to In Napoli and I loved the start, looks like Nancy is up for a laugh. Unfortunately, the wardrobe malfunction doesn’t give us the chance to see whether she can really dance or not, or whether the mucking about was hiding the fact that she can’t, as they only stayed in one place spinning thereafter. Alesha – you carried on, we’ve all been there; Bruno – was looking forward to the storytelling, a curtain stuck on spin cycle; Craig – forget the props altogether; Len – too long messing about, let the lady dance. Score: 1/4/3/4 = 12 Ouch.

Wrapping up Week One, it’s Jastina, with a cha cha to Gimme Some Lovin’, which I had to convince myself was NOT ZZ Top ... great attitude “it’s life, man, nothing’s perfect” great movement and attack, fun, energetic, he’s totally in the zone – Kristina is one happy little bunny tonight! Brilliant to watch, really got the audience going! Bruno – JD in cha cha charge, Strictly’s in business; Craig – G’day, mate, bonza, beauty; Len – best dance of the night; Alesha – fantastic, super super fun, everything you want in a cha cha. Score: 8/8/8/8 = 32.

That’s it folks! Leaderboard stands thus:

Jastina 32
Artolly 28
Harriona 28
Robinita 28
Pashee 27
Rorin 27
Danya 24
Aleames 22
Russia 21
Audalie 20
Robbiola 19
Brendalu 17
Vinwina 17
Antonollio 12

But we all know the leader board positions mean zilch, no-one is ever safe – so I’ll hold judgement on who I think is in danger because it could all turn around next week!

Chemical Reactions: Robinita; Danya; Pashee; Jastina – clearly their relationships are already well forged, dancing as one, plenty of eye contact and comfortable around each other in training and in the live show. On the other hand, Artolly are never going to share what Artara did, whilst Brendan will soon revert to Bad Boy if Lulu can’t get it together on the night. Likewise Anton with Nancy, you could already see he was dragging her along.

Dark Horse – Danya. Katya proved her comic abilities last year and Dan is that quiet unassuming type who came out with a cracking little one liner – much likeability there and he can actually dance too, ballroom anyhow. Still may need the acting coach, but I’m sensing a Gethin-like journey.

Surprises of the week – Brendulu’s bad meltdown a big disappointment, let’s hope they’ve the foxtrot next week so Brendan can guide. Pashee – Chelsee so very sweet and overwhelmed by the reaction, made up for the annoying voice!

Don’t deprive yourself during the week – It Takes Two is back with new hostess Zoe Ball, 6.30pm BBC2. Keeeeep watching!