Tonight's resident dance experts *cough* Lee Mack; Mr. Cuteness personified, Jack Whitehall - what is it about him? And Keith Lemon/Leigh Francis, I'm not quite sure which is the real one or if they're both fake ...
Penny Smith goes Toxic and sexy but shoulda given it a bit more welly, as Len would say, and she may well have won this - just for the Britney body double VT alone! At least she got to dance with Lemar, who you'd think would be concentrating on his music career, but hey, they all like to do their bit for charity. Lee is happy to go to the bar now; Jack liked the bit with the frilly pants and Keith can't tell us what he was thinking.
Lulu - how fantastic does she still look? Even so, she's re-inventing herself, according to the VT ... with dentures, a stanna stair lift and crochet blanket! Then Cranks That Soldier for a spot of Hip Hop and is fantastic, lovin' that! Lee is happy to go to the bar now; Jack called her fierce and told her she brought the crank, whatever that is; Keith becomes Johnny Mathis and croons All I Need To Know.
Noel Fielding as Kate Bush, doing Wuthering Heights and we're getting into the world of the strange now, oddly captivating, couldn't tear my eyes away! Lee said that if Angelina Jolie and Ricky Hatton ever had a love child ... Jack found him beguiling, beautiful, elegant and he's now worrying about personal issues - if he's ever with a woman and closes his eyes, he'll see Noel as Kate; Keith was reminded of Blossom and said he had wonderful arm lines!
Andi Osho is healing a family rift - whoever wrote these intro VTs is/are (a) genius(es) because they're brilliant. Jacksonitis? Bad is the song and Andi is brilliant - wish I wasn't watching an incredibly bad picture on I-Player - best natural dancer, that was too good! Lee was disappointed she didn't set fire to her head but said she was brilliant; Jack, missing the King, is now at peace cos she nailed it; Keith said "Ow! He's come back alive!"
James Thompson and Charlie Baker, neither of whom I know, give us Fight Club, sorry, no, Tap Club: The first rule is - don't forget your tap shoes, otherwise it'll just be Shoe Club, lol. Putting on the Ritz, and they do! Simple, classy, musical and elegant. Put a smile on my face, it's like a proper musical. Lee, having ascertained it wasn't sound effects, now loves tap dancing; Jack said Charlie looked like a 16 year old boy who'd found porn in the woods (Steve apologised a few minutes later!) Keith said it were just like proper tap dancing!
Jared Christmas with Hung Up by Madonna, which would have been the next Rufus if he was as good a dancer, he thinks he got away with it; he did, for the most part! Lee said he was a combo of his three favourite women - Madonna, Deirdre Barlow and Dawn French; Jack told him Keith's hairdresser did a fantastic job and Keith reckons Madonna is going to hate him - it was disgustingly brilliant.
McFly and Cee Lo Green are in but so are the results and out go: Penny; Jared and Andi. Straight through are James and Charlie, the panel have to choose: Lulu or Noel? Lee opts for Noel; Jack evens it up with Lulu and admits he's leaving it up to Keith, who is genuinely troubled: "Can't we go to deadlock?" No - you've got 15 seconds - he chooses Noel!
Four through, one more semi to go!